Fifty Things Women Would Do To Drive Men Crazy
1. Do not say what you mean. Ever.
2. Be ambiguous. Always.
3. Cry. Cry often. Tell them it's their fault.
4. Bring things up that were said, done, or thought months or
years ago.
5. Make them apologize for everything.
6. Stash feminine products in their backpacks and in their books
as cute reminders that you were thinking of them.
7. Gossip. Gossip about everything that walks.
8. Play Alanis Morissette's "You Outta Know," loud. Look at them
Smile.
9. Look them in the eye and start laughing.
10. Cry.
11. Get mad at them for everything.
12. Discuss your period in front of them. Watch them squirm.
13. Hold grudges.
14. Demand to be e-mailed. Often. Whine when they don't comply.
15. When complimented, make sure to be paranoid. Take nothing at
face value.
16. Use daddy as a weapon. Tell them about his gun collection,
his quick trigger finger, and his affection for his "little
princess."
17. Be late for everything. Yell if they're late.
18. Talk about your ex-boyfriend 24-7. Compare and contrast.
19. Go everywhere in groups, especially the bathroom. Do nothing
alone. Independence is a sign of weakness.
20. Cry ... again
21. Make them guess what you want and then get mad when they're
wrong.
22. Plan little relationship anniversaries, i. e. the monthly
anniversary of the time you saw each other in the library. . .
for five minutes. Then get mad at them for forgetting. Then
cry.
23. Fall for your FAC.
24. Gather many female friends and dance to "I Will Survive"
while they are present. Sing all the words. Sing to them. Sing
loud.
25. Correct their grammar.
26. Describe back-alley abortions. Then remind them of their
mother or little sister.
27. Constantly claim you're fat. Ask them. Then cry, regardless
of their answer.
28. Leave out the good parts in stories.
29. Make sure to only be interested in guys in the same
friendship group. Make sure to cause trouble.
30. Make them wonder. Confusion is a good thing.
31. Cry ... yet again
32. Declare that you are not wacko.
33. Criticize the way they dress.
34. Criticize the music they listen to.
35. Criticize their hair.
36. Ignore them. When asked, "What's wrong?" tell them that if
they don't know, you're not going to tell them.
37. Try to change them.
38. Try to mold them.
39. Try to get them to dance.
40. Pretend you're interested, lead them on, then feign
ignorance when confronted.
41. When they screw up, never let them forget it.
42. Make them stay at religious services until they are close to
fainting. Just because.
43. Blame everything on PMS.
44. Blame everything on PMS only after it has been blamed on
them.
45. Whenever there is silence ask them, "What are you
thinking?"
46. Get mad if they don't notice a haircut. Even if it's only a
half inch.
4
7. Read into everything.
48. Over-analyze everything.
49. Cry.
50. Make it your goal to make THEM cry.
Why women use more words
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife said the reason has to be because a woman has to say everything twice.
The husband then turned to is wife and asked, "What?"
Beautiful & stupid
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid
and beautiful all at the same time."
And the wife responded, "allow me to help you out. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me and
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!"
Women, men & flies?
A housewife walked into her kitchen to see her husband with a fly
swatter in his hand.
She asked, "Honey, what are you doing?" He
responded,"Oh, just swatting flies."
She asked. "Killing any?" He responded, "Yes, I got 3 males and 2
females!"
"Good", she said, and turned to walk away. But then a puzzling thought
overcame her and she turned back towards her husband and asked,
"Honey, how could you tell the sex of the flies?"
He responded, "Well, 3 were on the beer can and 2 were on the phone."
Baby food
A three-year-old walked up to a pregnant lady while waiting with his
mother in the doctor's office. He inquisitively asked the lady, "Why
is your stomach so big?"
She replied, "I'm having a baby."
With big eyes, he asked, "Is the baby in your stomach?"
She answered, "He sure is."
Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked,
"Is it a good baby?"
She said, "Oh, yes. It's a real good baby."
With an even more surprised and shocked look, he asked, "Then why did
you eat him?"
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Related resources:
[ Jokes pg 2 ]
[ Jokes pg 3 ]
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[ Jokes pg 7 ]
[ Jokes pg 8 ]
[ Jokes pg 9]
[ Jokes pg 10 ]
[ Jokes pg 11 ]
[ Jokes pg 12 ]
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