I rather have a puppy
A little boy and his dad were walking down the street whan they saw
two dogs having sex.
The little boy asks his father "Daddy, what are they doing?"
The father says, "Making a puppy" So they walk on and go home. A few
days later, the little boy walks in on his parents having sex.
The little boy says "Daddy, what are you doing?"
The father replies, "Making a baby."
The little boy says "hmmmm, can you please flip Mommy around? I'd
rather have a puppy instead!"
Sex education
A Primary School teacher decides to teach sex ed. to her class.
She starts out by drawing a penis on the chalk board and asks the
class, "Does anyone know what this is?"
And little Johnny says, "Yes, my dad has 2 of them!"
And the teacher says, "Are you sure about that?"
And little Johnny says, "Yes, he uses a small skinny one to go to the
bathroom, and a big long one to torture my mummy with."
Q & A
A little girl and her mother were out and about.
Out of the blue, the girl asked her mother, "Mommy, how old are you?"
The mother responded, "Honey, women don't talk about their age.
You'll learn this as you get older."
The girl then asked, "Mommy, how much do you weigh?"
Her mother responded again, "That's another thing women don't talk
about. You'll learn this too, as you grow up."
The girl, still wanting to know about her mother, then fired off
another question, "Mommy, why did you and Daddy get a divorce?"
The mother, a little annoyed by the questions, responded, "Honey,
that is a subject that hurts me very much, and I don't want to talk
about it now."
The little girl, frustrated, sulked until she was dropped off at a
friend's house to play. She consulted with her girlfriend about her
and her mother's conversation.
The girlfriend said, "All you have to do is sneak a
look at your mother's driver's license. It's just like a report
card from school. It tells you everything."
Later, the little girl and her mother were out and about again. The
little girl started off with, "Mommy, Mommy, I know how old you are.
I know how old you are. You're 32 years old."
The mother was very shocked.
She asked, "Sweetheart, how do you know that?"
The little girl shrugged and said, "I just know. And I know how much
you weigh. You weigh 130 pounds."
"Where did you learn that?"
The little girl said, "I just know. And I know why you
and Daddy got a divorce. You got an 'F' in sex."
The whole truth
At school, a boy was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding
at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to
blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth". The boy decides
to go home and try it out.
He goes home, and as he is greeted by his mother he says, "I know
the whole truth."
His mother quickly hands him a $50 note and says, "Just don't tell
your father. "
Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work,
and greets him with, "I know the whole truth."
The father also promptly hands him a $50 note and says, "Please
don't say a word to your mother."
Very pleased, the boy is on his way
to school the next day, when he sees the mailman at his front door.
The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth."
The mailman drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come
give your FATHER a big hug."
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*NOTE: As far as we are aware, none of the above jokes are copy-righted. However, if you have reasons to believe otherwise, please email us and we will remove them if proven. Thanks.
Related resources:
[ Jokes pg 2 ]
[ Jokes pg 3 ]
[ Jokes pg 4 ]
[ Jokes pg 5 ]
[ Jokes pg 6 ]
[ Jokes pg 7 ]
[ Jokes pg 8 ]
[ Jokes pg 9]
[ Jokes pg 10 ]
[ Jokes pg 11 ]
[ Jokes pg 12 ]
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