These funny sex jokes are so hilarious they make you roll on the floor laughing ...

"A funny sex joke is like a rush of fresh air, get it ... "

Manhood

A man was not really happy about his manhood........... it was actually too long, 50cm long. He did not know what to do and went to a witch to ask for advice.

The witch thought for a long time before she said : "Walk into the forest and you will meet a frog. Ask the frog if it wants to marry you.If it says "no" your manhood will shrink with 10cm, but if it says "yes" it will grow 10cm so the risk is yours."

The man thought about this for a while but decided it was worth the risk.He walked into the forest, found the frog and asked it : "Will you marry me little frog?"

" No" said the frog. The man ran home and measured his manhood. Happily he found that it had shrunk down to 40cm.

The man was so excited about the results that he ran back into the forest and asked the frog again : "Will you marry me little frog?". "No" said the frog.

The man ran home and measured his manhood. Again he found that it had shrunk 10cm down to 30cm. The man was thinking, "20cm, that would be the perfect size" and ran back into the forest.

He met the frog again and asked him again : "Will you marry me little frog?"

The frog answered him :"Sweet Jesus what is wrong with you? I already told you,
NO!, NO!, NO! "

Cool Dad

Little Johnny and his two friends are sitting on the front porch one day.

The first one says, "My Daddy is so cool he can eat four Burgers at one meal."

The second one says, "That's nothing. My Daddy can eat six."

Little Jonny starts laughing and says, "My Daddy can eat light bulbs."

The other two boys tell Jonny that he is out of his mind. They ask him why he thinks His daddy can eat light bulbs.

Little Jonny replies, "Last night I was passing my parents room and my Daddy said, 'Honey, turn out that light I want to eat that thing.'"

Dear John...

A Marine stationed in Iraq recently received a "Dear John" letter from his girlfriend back home. It read as follows

Dear Ricky,

I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice, since you've been gone, and it's not fair to either of us. I'm sorry.

Please return the picture of me that I sent to you.

Love, Becky

The Marine, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow Marines for any snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters, ex-girlfriends, aunts, cousins etc. In addition to the picture of Becky, Ricky included all the other pictures of the pretty gals he had collected from his buddies. There were 57 photos in that envelope....along with this note

Dear Becky,

I'm so sorry, but I can't quite remember who you are. Please take your picture from the pile, and send the rest back to me.

Take Care, Ricky

Holes

An old lady dies and goes to heaven. She is chatting to St.Peter at the Pearly Gates when all of a sudden she hears the most awful bloodcurdling screams.

"Oh my goodness," says the old lady, "what is happening?"

"Don't worry about that," says St. Peter, "It's only someone having the holes bored on their shoulder blades for the wings."

The old lady looks a little uncomfortable but carries on with the conversation. Ten minutes later, there are more bloodcurdling screams.

"Oh my goodness," says the old lady, "now what is happening?"

"Not to worry," says St.Peter, "they are just having their head drilled to fit the halo."

Shaking her head, the old lady says, "I can't do this. I'm off down to hell."

"You can't go there," says St. Peter, "You'll be raped and sodomized."

"Sure" says the old lady, "but I've already got the holes for that!"

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