Old vs young
Quiz: A 75 yr old man got married to a 15 yr girl. On their first night both were crying. Why???
Answer : Becuase she didn't know anything, and he had forgotten everything.
Boys & girls
Kiss is a gamble,
Sex is a game,
Boys do the action &
Girls get the Pain,
Guys say its fine,
But nine months later
Guys say its not Mine.
Smart Johnny
A first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks was having trouble with one of her
students. The teacher asked, "Johnny what is your problem?"
Johnny answered, "I'm too smart for the first Grade. My sister is in
the third grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the
third-grade too!"
Ms Brooks had enough. She took Johnny to the principal's office. While
Johnny waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the
principal what the situation was.
The principal told Ms Brooks he would give the boy a test and if he
failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first
grade and behave.
She agreed. Johnny was brought in and the conditions were explained to
him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal "What is 3 x 3?"
Johnny "9".
Principal "What is 6 x 6?"
Johnny "36".
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade
should know.
The principal looks at Ms Brooks and tells her, "I think Johnny can go
to the third-grade."
Ms Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions?"
The principal and Johnny both agree.
Ms Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"
Johnny, after a moment "Legs."
Ms Brooks' "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
Johnny, "Pockets."
Ms Brooks "What starts with a C and ends with a T is hairy, oval, and
delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?"
Johnny, "Coconut"
Ms Brooks, "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?" The principal's eyes open really wide but Johnny was taking charge.
Johnny, "Bubblegum"
Ms Brooks, "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down
and a dog does on three legs?" The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the
answer...
Johnny, "Shake hands"
Ms Brooks, "Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?"
Ms Brooks, "You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me
up. I get wet before you do."
Johnny, "Tent"
Ms Brooks, "A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored.
The best man always has me first." The Principal was looking restless and a bit tense.
Johnny, "Wedding Ring"
Ms Brooks, "I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you
blow me, you feel good."
Johnny, "Nose"
Ms Brooks, "I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a
quiver."
Johnny, "Arrow"
Ms Brooks, "What word starts with an "F' and ends in 'K' that means a
lot of heat and excitement?"
Johnny, "Fire-truck"
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher, "Send
Johnny to University, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!"
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*NOTE: As far as we are aware, none of the above jokes are copy-righted. However, if you have reasons to believe otherwise, please email us and we will remove them if proven. Thanks.
Related resources:
[ Jokes pg 2 ]
[ Jokes pg 3 ]
[ Jokes pg 4 ]
[ Jokes pg 5 ]
[ Jokes pg 6 ]
[ Jokes pg 7 ]
[ Jokes pg 8 ]
[ Jokes pg 9]
[ Jokes pg 10 ]
[ Jokes pg 11 ]
[ Jokes pg 12 ]
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